p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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