Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize