I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Randomize
