the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
