you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
We are two peas in an std pod
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
