I bet he comes in French.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
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