Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize