Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
