idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
