I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Randomize
