you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
my nose is crying tears of wow.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
