you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Randomize
