Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
When did angry sex become our thing?
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
