ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Randomize
