You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
You were trust falling into bushes
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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