My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
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