I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
