That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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