we have pet lesbian snakes
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
