is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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