idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
