i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
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