There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
