her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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