You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
