In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
