I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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