Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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