i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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