You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
