I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Randomize
