I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
