was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
