I wanna bring you to show and tell
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Randomize
