I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
time to smoke my breakfast
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
