it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Randomize
