I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Randomize
