Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Randomize