oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
