if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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