Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
