Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
