I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
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