i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
the day after is always just damage control
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
