I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Randomize
