I wannas sexs uuuuu
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
