Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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