dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
