and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
how drunk are you?
Several
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
