Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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