how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
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