I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
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