I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
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