Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
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