She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
