I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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