She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
