It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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