what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
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