Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
